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Re: What happens when your gig turns into a jam? (Long)

6/15/2003 5:25 AM
kluson guy Re: What happens when your gig turns into a jam? (Long)
1)Try adding a "ground lift" switch on your amp.  
2)Discretely engage this switch when your "buddy" gets on stage  
3)Join audience for beverage, call out encouragement for vocal type numbers he sings.  
4) Empty ashtray tailings in beer, offer to buddy in condolences for recently burnt flesh on lips.  
5) Report back to Ampage.  
I love revenge fantasys!
6/15/2003 7:18 AM
Le Basseur
...and I'm stunned not to come alive...  
I recall one of my friends who worked as a sound engineer and mixman during festivals...he built a special cable:o on one end,the classical 6,3 mm jack,and on the other,an AC plug.The idea was to get rid of those annoying keyboard players who developed too much instant talents on stage and wouldn't come guessed,the cable was intended to link the output of the kb with the 230 VAC outlet.  
Now,it's a poll-like question:did my friend use that cable or not,what do you think?!?
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6/15/2003 3:17 PM
1) antifreeze in his drink.  
2) Find out what car is his, snip the brake lines.  
3) Practice breaking boards with your hand. When you are good enough to hit with enough force to reproducibly break boards, "accidently" trip him when he comes off stage, fall on him, and with the added velocity of your fall, strike his back at the side above the hip to bruise his kidney (you only get one good hit to "look" like an accident)  
4) Spill whisky on him while an accomplice on the other side is lighting his cigarette, oops.  
People are just too PC these days, get rid of this good for nothing.
6/15/2003 7:09 AM
Le Basseur
    You don't want to get the bass player mad because he might... ummm... errr... — so what do bass players do when they get mad? ;)  
Well,Steve...I could write a manual about that....more precisely,what aspect is the most interesting to you?  
Intonation/tuning,rhythm,key,style playing,sound...:)just name it!
6/15/2003 3:33 PM
John Fisher

I don't even like people playing my guitar when I am not playing live. I have offended many because of this because I can really feel it when some greasy brute plays my guitar that I need to record with and corrodes the strings in one shot.  
When I play live I never allow anythng like that for many reasons. Even if the Bass player wants someone to play my guitar it's my guitar not his. It's usually not a problem.  
I once had this guy that wanted to play my harmonica. (of all things, yuk) I said "no". When I turned my head for a minute I was shocked to see him up on the stage playing my harmonica in the mic half drunk. What could I do now? I just let him go on as we were almost finished. Well, we were finished and we were even trying to take the equipment down and he was still there playing.  
I finally got the harmonica out of his hand. After soaking it in disinfectant I realized that he had blown so hard and long that he ruined one of the reeds.  
It was my best harmanica or the one that I used the most so I had to try and look for one which was pretty hard to do and it took me a long time as I was living in Peru. When I finally found one it cost me $25.  
John Fisher
6/16/2003 2:36 AM
Alvin Maiden
Yeah I know what you mean. Spit, sweat, and goobers can be a real turn off. Your harmonica story is a real dozy. And then if the guy has paradontal disease, you really have a mess.
6/16/2003 4:37 AM
John Fisher

"And then if the guy has paradontal disease, you really have a mess."
Yeah! He could probably get it from me. Ha!
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