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Re: Responsibility


 
3/30/2005 10:52 AM
Johnson Space Center Re: Responsibility
Dear Sir:  
 
We DO have our facts straight! It was very definitely the demodulator!  
 
However, we are testing the discombobulator in Area 51 right now...
 
3/30/2005 11:17 AM
Area 51 testing center
email

quote:
"However, we are testing the discombobulator in Area 51 right now..."
 
 
Update:  
The discombobulator is nearly finished with testing, but we've run into a snag. We tested it on the President's brain, and it had no apparent effect. We are continuing with testing, and will run it with reverse polarity later today on the President's brain to see what results.  
 
---  
Capt. Paddy O'Phurnicherr  
Chief Testing Coordiator  
Area 51 Testing Center
 
3/30/2005 12:29 PM
Area 51 testing center
email

Update:  
After thorough testing we have come to a conclusion.  
Apparantly, the discombobulator has a size limitation below which it cannot discombobulate the item under test. As it is clear that the item under test indeed remains in the same state of discombobulation as before any tests were performed on it, this indicates that the item under test is not affected by the discombobulation ray in either polarity configuration. The most recent test on President's brain confirms this result. If there had been an effect when running the discombobulator in reverse polarity, it would have indicated that the item under test was already discombobulated, and the result would have been the dediscombobulation of the item under test.  
 
Subsequent tests on a flea's brain show that the discombobulator works correctly in both polarities at that size range and larger.  
 
---  
Capt. Paddy O'Phurnicherr  
Chief Testing Coordiator  
Area 51 Testing Center
 
3/30/2005 2:28 PM
Earl
email

http://www.tultw.com/bios/marvin.htm  
 
a bugs history with martians
 
3/31/2005 6:47 AM
Johnson Space Center Re: Testing
Dagnabit, O'Phurnicherr! Can't you yahoos down there get ANYTHING right? The world ain't all New Age mysticism and crystals, you know! Did you even LOOK at the test protocol? Your subjects were supposed to be Kerry, Gore and Ted Kennedy! Now go send a Black Ops crew to repeat the test. And, Paddy? Get it right this time or we test YOU next!  
 
Understand?  
 
Signed,  
 
Colonel S. Tealth Bomber
 
3/31/2005 9:27 AM
Area 51 testing center
email

Prime Minister Martin--  
Update:  
Extended the discombobulator test sample to include Colonel S. Tealth Bomber (normal polarity) and Stephen Wright (reverse polarity). At 0.03% power, it was able to discombobulate Col. Bomber, as is evident from his reply to my previous update. In a stress test, we dediscombobulated Stephen Wright at a power level of 247% of nominal capacity. Mr. Wright has now joined our ranks and is working on updates to the discombobulator matrix to allow for operation on objects down to the sub-atomic level, and soon hopes to have it working even below that level, so that we may attempt the discombobulation of Bush's brain again. Conclusion: Discombulator works perfectly. All plans going according to schedule. Soon, between the combined efforts of the secret teams in Area 51 and distributed throughout the various studios producing television media, the American public's minds will be completely discombobulated, and our invasion force can proceed according to plan.  
 
 
---  
Capt. Paddy O'Phurnicherr  
Chief Testing Coordiator  
Area 51 Testing Center
 
4/1/2005 6:22 AM
US Military Police Re: Warrant For Arrest
Captain O'Phurnicherr, you are under arrest for treason and are required to come with us at once. Failure to do so, or an attempt to escape will result in immediate extreme sanction. In addition to the team of 20 you see here in your office, there are ten snipers on the rooftops surrounding this building and an armored patrol outside. Your office is also being overflown by chopper gunships. Sir, I strongly advise you to come quietly!
 
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